This is me. Or at least this has been me these past couple of weeks. Watching, feeling, trying (trying!) not to judge. Connecting to the real me. Trying to feel without judgement, without strain.

They seem to be two worlds apart, the me that existed before the summer (full on, pushy, never waisting a second, working, writing, full time mom, cramming in some painting or sports and believing it to be relaxation, always aiming for the future) and the me post summer (feeling, trusting, taking my time, yoga sessions after the kids have gone to sleep, reconnecting to the people I love, and lots of staring out of the window and feeling the now).

And although the little voice in my head telling me I’m wasting valuable time is still there, I take some pleasure in being able to switch it off or ignore it and putting my feed up thinking: screw you, I’m
having fun! You nag all you want!

The beep in my ears is slowly retracting, and although I relaps in to old behavior almost daily, I have gradually started to feel ok with doing nothing, to just … be 100×80 paper on wood. #zelfportret#selfportrait#portrait#energy#lino#linocutting#linoart#aura#spiritualart#higherself#feeling#inthemoment#diary#diaryart#connected#holland#thenetherlands#weststellingwerf